Change, inspiration, admiration, fear, sheer terror and other things that go randomly in and out of my mind.

"Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round, every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears, every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by, every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes, every now and then I fall apart."

- Total Eclipse Of The Heart, Glee Cast.

Guten afternoon!



Welcome to the latest edition of Rachels mental life!

We all know, there's nothing, and I mean nothing worse than a bad day.
I had one of the worst the other day. I was feeling completely depressed for no reason at all, I tried excercise but it didn't work. No endorphins for me.

I don't know what was wrong with me... possibly raging hormones, but it didn't help that when I was walking down the street a light above my head blew out. At exactly the time I walked under it. Yep.
What are the odds?!
As if I wasn't upset enough, and then to have a light explode above me!
Icing on the bloody cake.

But anyway, the next day I felt a little better at (god forbid I say it) school, thanks to my fab friends (:

At the end of the day though, something phenomenal happened... My friend Emilia, she was having a go at this guy called Darren, and basically she's a very passionate person, so she got very worked up!
She was lecturing him on not judging others. That got me to thinking, why do we judge? It's almost always bad judgment when we do.
She drew three people on paper, and thrust it in his face and screamed, do you see the differences? There were physical differences, and that's what he pointed out.
She then told him he was judging on the outside. See?
She went on to say that you don't know what is going on inside of these people.

She then used me as an example (ohhhh lordy be). She said, "Look at Rachel, how do you know she is happy. How are you sure she's not hurting inside? Maybe you can't see the pain inside her eyes. Do you know her deepest darkest secrets from looking at her? NO. You don't."
When she said that, I swear, my heart stopped. She had pinpointed exactly where I was emotionally. Even though I was in a better mood, I felt what she said, and felt the sheer anger and passion she was.

She had a total nervy b (nervous breakdown). But it made sense to me. I guess I was on the right level to hear it huh?

I looked down to my work sheet, which coincidentally said "change" on it.
This made me think.
Change. We shouldn't feel threatened by it, yet most of us do. Why is that?

Change is sometimes a good thing you know.

Just like that, it can happen. In the blink of an eye, everything can change.

Just because I feel lonely now, it doesn't mean I'll be like this forever. Emotions, moods, they change. As do circumstances.

And just like that, I let go of those negative emotions weighing me down.

I learnt something that day from Emilia.
Hopefully I wrote it down right in this post, but maybe you had to be there to feel the emotions in her words.

Anyway, live every day like it's your last, and don't forget to be positive :D

Rachel x