OH EMM GEEEE.

OH F***.

This was by far the worst get together of friends I've had ever. I swear.
I invited these two friends of mine to come over for dinner and dvds, just to chill, and one of them suggested I invite my other friend, who she hadn't seen in ages, and even though I know she'd feel uncomfortable around those other two girls, I didn't want to be rude so I did invite her.
Well I've never felt more awkward in my life.
It was the strangest sensation, I felt so vulnerable and unsure of what to do or say to ease the wierd mood.
It was like social suicide to open my big mouth and have this stupid bunch of words sloppily strung together to almost form a sentence spring out of my mouth and cause the most awkward silences you could imagine.
This might sound bad, but I felt so uncomfortable I was counting down the hours till they left.
It was a bad mix of people I guess.
But the first two wouldn't stop talking about their new jobs, and they completely ignored me and the 'suggested guest'.
It was just one of those nights where you wish you could possibly move to Iceland because of how humiliated you were by the stupid things coming out of your mouth. Honestly, I cracked a fat joke in front of a friend who is of big build, to put it politely. I felt soooo bad, you cannot imagine how embarrassed I was.
It was just foul.
I felt like the other two girls were whispering things about me the whole time. Honestly, sometimes I don't know why I consider them friends... they were obviously bored by the end of the night...
OOOOOOHHH IT WAS SUCH A DISASTER I JUST CAN'T THINK ABOUT IT ANYMORE!!!!!
F*************************************************************************************CK

Oh and by the way I just spent the past hour and a half webcamming with that guy my friend "stole" from me at that party. Please note that it's 1:07AM here. Oh, and get this, by the end of the conversation, he had:
- told me he would go all the way with me
- said YOUR HOT in capital letters, out of nowhere!
- and admitted he was teasing me at one point [I asked him why and he said "I don't know ;)" ].

What the hell should I do?
I think I might like this guy, but I can't tell if he genuinely likes me.

Should I go for it or leave him be?

Well. I think it's time I went to bed. Actually, I've decided I'll go watch season 10 of FRIENDS :)

and at the end of the day, we could all learn something from it, like how to make fajitas and flan hahaa. You'll get it if you've ever seen 'The one where Ross is fine'

Goodnight all, thanks for letting me rant to y'all.

P.s : does anyone know how to get rid of the box around the sigature? Its something I made on paint and uploaded as an image.

Hey guys :)

I just thought I'd quickly experiment something for a second.

I'm gonna try this signature thing, tell me if you think it looks good :)
I'd love to hear from you.

"Best Friends" (my ass.)

Back to yesterdays topic.

I had a "best friend" in year 8. One day I noticed a change in her, such as she was being bitchier than usual and more attention seeking. Plus she had been watching me like a hawk! But anyway, one day she just decided to turn on me and literally run away from me and my other friend, tell me lies, give me evils and call me a bitch.

Before I knew it she had turned the majority of my friends on me and was sending rumours around the school that I was a bitch and completely untrustworthy. She even degraded herself enough to send me a delightful bunch of daily comments my myspace, detailing how she sees me, a "stupid slut" or saying that "no-one likes you, everyone hates you" and "you think you're so pretty, but your actually an ugly c*** face whos fat".

And get this. I never did anything to her.

But you know what they say, "when one door closes, another door opens". So I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and ran straight through the open door. What awaited through that door was not only a different chapter of my life, but a new me.
I had left a part of myself behind the closed door that I'd never get back. It was the part of me that could so easily trust and rely on someone. I've realised how much harder it is now to trust someone like I did then, but "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger" and it really taught me something, and it took me a step closer to becoming an adult.

But, everything happens for a reason right? I now have one best friend who was there all along, and she is like my oxygen. Cant live without her. I have a whole group of better friends now and I know myself better as a person, as in who I am, what I think is right or wrong, what I want ect.

And those instincts came in handy at this party I was at recently. One of my friends from my "inner circle" saw me happily flirting with this boy I was starting to like, naturally (for her) she got all jealous, and when I let him go for one second, she pounced like a cat on its prey.

I could've killed her. Honestly. She was acting like the biggest floozy I've ever seen.

But she stayed with him for ages, even though she has all these other bloody guys she's "interested" in. Obviously a few weren't enough. She had to go and steal the boy I was clearly flirting with. Friends do not do that. If you see a friend flirting with a guy, you encourage her and say things like "ooh lucky you", you don't bloody steal him!!!

As you can tell I'm still a little hurt... maybe it's because I called her the next day and she denied anything happened. I believed her like an idiot. Well half-believed. It's that gut feeling. But the thing is, I just found out via another friend of mine that they actually did hook up. I couldn't believe it. I was in tears full of emotions;hurt, betrayal, anger, a tad of jealousy (which is normal, I HAD HIM FIRST!). And she must think she has the upper-hand, thinking I'm believing everything she's saying. Well sorry if I thought I could trust you biatch.

I haven't confronted her about it yet. It's the holidays so there hasn't been an opportunity, as I haven't seen her.
I really wouldn't even know where to start. Because if she lied to me about this, how many oer things has she lied to me about? It makes me sick just thinking about it.

I think it's ironic that I was actually watching Mean Girls the other night. I thought it was quite sad how bitchy those girls could be, and how they could sink so low. But then again, thats the deal in real life too.

Well, all these emotions and letting it out onto the poor people reading this has taken it's toll on me and I am *yawn* tired.

If anyone wants to offer advice on what I should do or say to this girl, please let me know, coz I'd like to hear suggestions :)

Goodnight,
Rachel.

P.s. Follow me and I'll follow you ;)

Take one.

Hey everyone,

I'm just a normal person with normal problems and in this crazy rollercoaster of a life, but I'm here to have my say on it all, offer inspirational quotes and hopefully make some of you smile every now and then.
I'm described as a good listener and if anyone needs advice I've been told I also give good advice, so I'm all ears and I'll get back to you ASAP.
So, I'm here to share experiences, but where to start?? How about the one thing all us teenagers can NOT stand most of the time. The thing that makes us want to stay in bed everymorning just "five more minutes". Oh come on, you all know what I'm talking about.

drum roll...
HIGH SCHOOL.

Yes, highschool. Just a pain in the freaking ass isn't it? So very inconvenient. First of all because of all the wonderful home-work you get to complete, even on holidays. I for one can't stand it when teachers give you a shitload of holiday home-work and then end the class by saying "have a good holiday everyone!" Well I hate to break it to you, Mr Smart Arse, but my holidays would be a whole lot better if you didn't dump this shitload on me!!!
Highschool also sucks because you have no idea what-so-ever about who to trust. Who hears me? The lucky ones might have a best friend or a group of best friends, who they have known since forever and can always count on, which is great. But then what about everyone else? Because in highschool, it's every man for himself. Which of course sucks, but what can you do really? All I can say is that you live and you learn, and we all will survive the scaly claws of highschool (Praise the Lord, Amen).
Hang on though.
What do you do if one of your "friends" in your inner circle steals the boy you like, simply because she saw you two flirting and got jealous? And what if your so called "best friend" flips out and turns out to be your worst enemy? Then what?


I'll be back tommorrow with the rest on that story :)
Goodnight,
Rachel.