Long time no blog.

Hello my fellow bloggers :)

Welcome to the latest edition of my life (haha).
In my last post, how I went on and on about something not feeling right between me and this guy?
Well how spot on was I. I was so spot on with that guess that I was IN the spot.
Most of you are probably reading this thinking.. spot? What does a spot have to do with all this? Ok now I don’t know what I’m on about.
Moving on..

My friend Mike, came up to me at the end of yet another school day (which I spent wondering why my guy wasn’t talking to me) last week.. and tells me he has something I probably need to hear..
I knew almost straight away that it was something to do with Him (no not God, the guy I like!). He told me that He doesn’t like me anymore. Nice Mike, way to drop a bombshell on me like that. :
I left school in an absolute daze.. this was like all the puzzle pieces coming together.. everything made sense now.
But I was absolutely heartbroken. I can’t believe he just left me like that. And I was furious that he had gone around telling others, but STILL had not told me.
Sure, it’s hard to say, but if I was gonna hear it, I would’ve rather heard it from Him.
So I trudged home, and once I got behind a closed door, cried my eyes out. To the point where I couldn’t breathe. I lay on the bathroom floor and tried to catch my breath. And this is what I did after school for about three days.
Then I got up, dusted myself off, and baked muffins. LOTS of muffins.
When I was at school I would have random fits of laughter at something not even funny.
Maaaaaaaan, I had been driven right over the edge.
So I decided to avoid him, and keep my head held high the whole time.
My friend Betty kept telling me that he was talking about me to her… he seemed to be concerned. But at that point I thought, Pfft, bullshit that you even feel bad. Up yours. You don’t care.

Days went by and I ignored the prick, pretending not even to care. I must be a good actor because he started following me around trying to talk to me… I avoided him at every chance I got (of course), but he just kept trying to get through to me.
But, after a few more days of hearing that he was soooo concerned with me from everyone else (pfft), I decided to just suck it up and talk to him.
So the other day at lunch, He was walking away from his locker, I just decided to Carpe Diem and pulled him around the corner.
I admitted that I had been avoiding him, and told him that I was there now so to talk. He said that he didn’t know what to say (which I found hard to believe because he seemed to have a lot to say to everyone else!), so I said, “Ok, well here’s one. Why have you gone around telling everyone that you don’t have feelings for me anymore? I mean, I should’ve heard it from you.”
He started saying that I didn’t give him the chance to tell him, and I kept ‘looking at him funny’. At which point I told him I knew how hard it was to say it to someone, I had been there before but he shouldn’t have told anyone else.
There was a silence.
I said, “Look, if you’re over it, I’m over it. Seriously.”
He gave me this look which said he didn’t believe me.
I assured him it was true.
He said I probably wanted to punch him. I said I would never punch him. He denied it. I said that I lied and that I would but I wasn’t going to.
He smiled that stupid, amazing smile that melts me everytime. My favourite smile, the one I love.
It was at that point where he put his hand on my shoulder and said “We can still be friends.”
It was at that point where it hit me that things had changed for good.
It was at the stage when we said goodbye and I sat with my friends that I collapsed into a fit of laughter, no doubt the aftershock of my little kicking-of-His-ass.

Enough for now, because I’m tired, so I must sleep.
But until next time,


Rachel x